I would so love to read what you wrote. Can it possibly be as bad as your making out?
I know what you mean though. I sent the first chapter of the book I have been writing (for the last ten years) to two people who are in the process of starting an editing business. They slammed it to shreds. You can’t imagine my distress. Anyway after the dust settled I evaluated what they said and realised they were right.
My book isn’t all bad, but the points they made for improvement were right.
Sometimes that is very hard to hear.
Good luck with your writing.